Honestly
By Zoe Grace (she/her)
Adoptee, 21
From Chongqing; Living in Charlotte, NC
Honestly
I want to know her, my mother, so bad it claws away at my heart
I want to be consumed in a hug of the woman who bore me
I want to see my smile reflected in someone who looks like me
Honestly
She has a piece of my soul and I have a piece of hers
I want the missing piece of my soul that longs for her to be filled
The thought of that empty space in my soul reserved for “mom” folds my body in half
It is as if grief itself is pushing me into the ground.
Honestly
I think I’m like a puzzle and my mother is my missing piece
So I search for her in everything and anything
I carry a sadness that I don’t think I will ever let go of
Because letting go of my sadness means letting go of her
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